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2 days ago | 165,508 notes

twlboaj:

on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents

Via Spencer's Blog :)
2 days ago | 80,874 notes
professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

Via It's just me, Angela.
2 days ago | 80,001 notes
tastefullyoffensive:

There are two kinds of parrots…

tastefullyoffensive:

There are two kinds of parrots…

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

Via Tastefully Offensive on Tumblr
3 days ago | 121,260 notes

comehere-letmeholdyou:

cultureincart:

The cute little monk in Xichan Temple, Fuzhou, southeast China’s Fujian Province.

OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS

My ovaries just exploded and I can’t even have babies!

Via It's just me, Angela.
3 days ago | 951,145 notes

cyrilmusic:

burairium:

theneverendingdrums:

fejes:

peaceloveandbrittana:

this wins over other pro-gay commercials because you had no idea he was gay and then you can’t tell which one is his husband

they are showing them as people

not as gays and straights

fuckin love this commercial

can we just talk abotu the fact that the husbands arent even bringing the drinks over theyre just standing there next to the drinks and chatting

fuckin useless husbands

they are showing anyone can be useless. Even gay people


they are saying that it doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight. You can still be a useless person

this post got better

Rebloging for the “fucking useless husbands”

(Source: highonawindyhill)

Via It's just me, Angela.
4 days ago | 204 notes

…me perguntam por quê eu continuo num trabalho que eu nem gosto tanto.

comoeumesintoquando:

image

(by whatshouldbetchescallme)

Via Como Eu Me Sinto Quando...
6 days ago | 4 notes

brookelynnebriar:

Ahaha!  Yes!  This is exactly how I imagined it!

Oh! My! God!!!!

Via Brookelynne Briar
1 week ago | 124,086 notes

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

overdosed-on-apathy:

This post had me at finger pants.

HORSE TORNADO.

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

Via Kirky
1 week ago | 245,532 notes

lucaspsi:

shotarokaneda:

this dog is part husky part lab

the split is straight down the middle, quite literally

image

LOOK AT THIS!!! It looks like two different dogs! She literally got looks from both sides of her parents! JUST IMAGINE HOW HAPPY THEY MUST BE!!!!!

Via GAME OVER.